This post is continuing my good stuff week of posts. It discusses matters of my personal sex life so if that is TMI for you please don’t read.
The first time I tried anal sex I was stupid. It was my idea but we were stupid nonetheless. I knew nothing about anal, and all we had was some lotion and a dark room. It was before the age of the internet and there was no way, as an adolescent girl, I was going to ask for advice from my parents. So we tried. Not surprisingly, to everyone who has fucked in the ass before, we failed miserably. I mean there had never been so much as a finger in my ass prior to putting a full cock in there. Ungodly pain. There was no way I was going to try that again…exit only.. you know the deal.
Jump some fifteen years later and now if I don’t get fucked in the ass on a regular basis I start to get crabby. What changed? A little bit of eduction on the matter and a very wet inducing article in Playgirl magazine.
I had been thinking about it. Some friends enjoyed it. I remembered the pain though. I asked around a little. Still too nervous. I read the article about her back door man. Fuck, I want it.
So we tried again. This time we knew what to expect. We bought some KY and and waited till I was ready. Finger play to be sure I enjoyed anal stimulation. Constant communication. I was ready.
At least I thought I was ready.
There was still some pain. Not as much as my first attempts. But yeah it hurt. It also felt curious, like I might be able to get past this pain and continue. Of course we stopped again that time, cleaned up and went back to fucking. The seed was there though. I learned that the more relaxed and confident I was with anal the less it hurt. Yeah, lube was important, but so was the certainty that you were doing the right thing. I had to let go of my inhibitions about poop. I had to let go about inhibitions about sex. I had to let go of my inhibitions about pain.
When I let them go, when I relaxed, anal became a whole new world to me, and I loved it. It brought out the dirty talker in me. I wanted to beg him to cum in my ass. I could feel every contraction in his cock when he did. Beg for it I did. Melted when his words matched mine. His hot breath in my ears as he asked how deep I wanted him to fuck me. Anal became my friend.
And it wasn’t without its ups and downs. Sometimes I would think I was ready when I wasn’t, so once again we would have to clean up and return to other forms of fucking. Sometimes we would try a lube that caused too much sensation and made anal unpleasant after a short while. Clean up and resume fucking again.
Anal takes confidence more than anything (besides lube. can never use too much lube). Anal takes the confidence in saying no, the confidence that your partner won’t hold it against you for not being able to continue what you started. Anal takes confidence that your partner will slow down or stop halfway in your ass so you can work past some initial pain even if it takes a couple minutes of just holding still. Anal requires confidence in yourself, that you are making the choices you want to make in a sex relationship.
Anal takes confidence, but it is a confidence that can be learned.