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Apr 03

Perspective

I’m lucky. Ever since high school, I’ve successfully hidden under my bi cloak of invisibility from the more hateful parts of society. The assumed straight default of a heterosexual marriage, means that no one has attacked me for my queerness. Basically don’t shout I like to eat out chicks in a room full of Christians, and I’ll live a mostly peaceful, closeted life.

That may change soon. Before I never had to worry about pda with a girl because I never dated a girl. In the part of my life before marriage, my internalized misogyny said girls are for fucking not dating, and the monogamous marriage to a man hid me further. Falling in love with a girl and becoming a feminist has changed me. My Kinsey scale has shifted and with it my perspective. Tonight I go to a gay bar to watch a burlesque show with a friend. I also go to meet girls. I am still not exactly ready for dating girls other than my girlfriend (with whom irl stuff is irrelevant) but I might be up for some pda. I might want to walk away from tonight’s experience with a kiss goodnight or some intimate hand holding in nearby coffee shop.

And my perspective has changed. I can’t assume I won’t be kicked out of the coffee shop. I can’t assume that the stares won’t escalate to violence. I can’t assume I will walk away without scars.

Tom Cotton tells me to have perspective though. At least they don’t hang me for being queer. My question though is how long before my perspective has to shift again. How long before your religious freedom that denies me rights becomes your religious freedom that denies me life? My current perspective states that although violence against me isn’t publicly sanctioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t publicly supported. Laws like the religious freedom bill in Indiana are what shift perspective the wrong direction. Tell me again to have perspective, I’ve had plenty for the time being.

 

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garlits odenheimereko@mailxu.com